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Thursday, November 20, 2008 || Thursday, November 20, 2008
oh my god. i am so hating my life right now. i dont even know if i really want to laugh it out,cry my eyes out or even just talk about it with someone. i really dont know tau. thanks to FANNA who actually tried to help me out. so yeah. my brother is a fucking bloody guy. irritating me a lot. ask me this and ask me that. shit man. so yeah. sheesh. but his is a smart phone. so i actually don't care tau. yeah. you know,i keep on wondering. why am i so careless? why am i so loud? am i irritating other people? do i really belong in this world? am i really making the right decision? am i really making choices that i really want? i just feel like a piece of the puzzle that doesn't belong with the world together. sometimes i wonder why am i borned in this world. is this how my parents want me to be? is this how my parents brought me up? do they brought up a child to be rude to them,talk back at them? am i really want my parents want me to be? does my brothers look up at me thinking that their sister is another one of those sick little kids who thinks they can get anything they want? am i treating him right? am i disturbing him when i shouldn't be? am i being such an irresponsible person? am i going to turn out to be a horrible person? am i going to ever succeed in life? am i going to ever get my parents love? are they ever treating me right? are they doing this to make me realise that they love me? are they like,love my brothers more than they love me because i am not as smart as them? WHAT AM I DOING IN THIS WORLD?
DO I REALLY BELONG IN THIS WORLD? do i really know where am i heading towards to? do i really like the life i am having now? you see,there are many questions i have and i really want to know the truth. i really want the truth and no more secrecy. god. someone really close to me,please call me. i really need to talk to you. i dont care if its really him,her or her. anyone who reads this,you should know what im feeling right now. call me soon please. the last person i need is ______. R A W R.